I can tuck mytits in my pants
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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