i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
