Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
