You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
