I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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