I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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