If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize