Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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