now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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