p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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