If that was your dad, he is hot
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
