oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have post one night stand depression
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