what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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