Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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