i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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