"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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