he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
