Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm bleeding and have questions
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
