I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
