Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
