she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
