They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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