maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
