I'm jealous of your bromance
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
