Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
