Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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