chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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