don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize