Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
