so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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