thus making me awesome and them whores
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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