Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Welp...herpes.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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