Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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