May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
