I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
