Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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