i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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