Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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