I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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