I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
