I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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