your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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