Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize