he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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