Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
