In the future we'll all be gay
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
