Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
