We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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