whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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