my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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