What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
wow bdsm is so cute
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