we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
