The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We got so high we made milksteak
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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