i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
