By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
