i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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