You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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