Fuck appropriateness.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You're like the curious george of whores
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
