Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
