is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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