just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
