so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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