She's JV to your varsity
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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