Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
