Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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